I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize