Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
