Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
