I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
