come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
