twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize