I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize