I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
