there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
