Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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