I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
