i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
