I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
