i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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