i may or may not be watching the land before time
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
