I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
