this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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