At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
