1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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