he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
