1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
