can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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