i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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