sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
