so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
