i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
