You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
