their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
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Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
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The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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