well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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