I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
