rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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