As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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