Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
