You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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