K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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