Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.