I wanna eat
then eat your cupcake
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?