the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
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I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail