Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse