we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.