Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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