All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry