weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?