My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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