i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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