You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
