Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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