you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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