i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
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i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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