He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
