my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
