the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize