i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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