Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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