Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
