Im at strip club and am horny
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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