So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
