NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
