please come you make the beer taste better
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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