In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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