i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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