What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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